Having a minor late night fit. And by late night, I mean its 12:12, which is not really late at all.

I am a perfectionist - I know this, I know this well. I know that I don't often live up to my own expectations, and others don't often live up to my expectations and sometimes life is just plain HARD.

I work really hard at what I do, and even as I'm typing that I'm doubting myself and thinking I could work harder. But I do, I work really hard. I bust my butt, I put a lot of energy into it. I get distracted by the internet sometimes, and get really into the cookies I'm eating, but in general I am pretty good at life.

I think?

I don't know what the point of this tangent is, I just want someone to tell me they love me and that everything is going to be okay.

And since everyone I love is on the east coast and not awake right now, I guess that will have to be me, telling myself that. Dawn: I love you, and everything is going to be okay.

I wish that made me feel better but it didn't really.

I'm just lonely and I feel lost and I know I'll regret writing this all soon enough but right now I just want to get it out!

I know it is normal and natural and everything but I just want a rush of joy right now more than anything.