Hey! Hey hey hey.
I'm back, yeah yeah I am back.
That was sort of a little song. AS PER USUAL in my life, I have a strong desire to have a blog and oh! guess what! I already have one that I sort of abandoned way back in October. And now it is nearly July!
Can you believe how time flies?
So, here's the deal. I took that job I mentioned in the last entry here, took it with a vengeance! I worked on this big celebrity filled romantic comedy for SEVEN months. October 18th-April 29th.
I will have you know this was mildly torturous.
I had horrible days where I cried at work. CRIED. How embarrassing.
I had days where I woke up and went into the office with a smile and within the hour the smile was a total raging horrible scowl.
The people I worked with sent me into rages, they drove me nuts, they made me cry. I was basically a monster for 7 months. Well, let's say 6 because I was pretty good for the first month or so, just really really busy.
There are a few good things to say about the job - I really stretched my limits in terms of multitasking and juggling a variety of duties. I had to learn how to tell my boss, in any way possible, when I was beyond overwhelmed. It happened more times than I can count.
The higher ups I was working with loved me - their kids loved me too. They were great to work with, not horribly demanding, really genuinely nice people. Mainly from Los Angeles.
I met some very cool people, very fun people on the job. And the entire thing inspired me to take a big step in my life - more on that in a minute.
As per usual, I had a dramatic dude situation throughout most of the job. That may have filtered into my moodiness and monsterness, but I dunno. Here's a basic summary of what happened:
K and I had a weird tryste in early January, fueled by desperation and random texting/IMing. Yikes. We continued to be in touch for 2 or 3 weeks-ish but he was moving out of the area and was pretty busy packing and getting ready, and I just really wanted a warm body so... it was toxic to begin with. We had some weird text fight that resulted in plans for the following Friday, then him canceling the plans while I was at work late so I was pretty mad. Just as a general rule, if you do not respect my time when I am working, you are on my MAJOR shit list. Okay.
In a determined effort to get very very drunk, I went to my friend Greg's birthday party which was a couple of blocks away, after work. (In retrospect, this night was very foretelling). I told myself as I was walking over that I was going to HAVE FUN like it or lump it. So I was having a good time, hanging with all my people, when this guy walks in and starts saying hi to everyone - and I'm thinking - that guy is pretty damn cute. We're introduced, nothing spectacular happens in that moment, but a few minutes later - we definitely have a "checking each other out" moment across the bar. I venture over near him to drop my cell in my bag (I had pulled it out to see if K had sent me any apologies. no such luck.) and he jokingly began to dance with me. We end up talking for a few minutes, realize we have quite a few things in common, and the night is a pretty big blur from there on out. We danced like crazy together, talked about all sorts of random things, had weird realizations that I had been to his apartment but never met him, etc. etc. He's known friends of mine for years and years, but we had never crossed paths.
ANYWHO, I was giddy as hell, everything seemed great. We exchanged numbers, didn't kiss, he told Greg & Pat that he wanted to take me out on a date, it seemed amazing and timely and perfect.
I would like to insert that I am really grateful for that night - it was really beautiful to me, how we connected, how I was able to convey my attraction to him confidently, and him likewise. How everything seemed perfect, and I was so hopeful and happy.
The happiness waned slightly when I didn't hear from him for a few days, but my birthday was about two weeks after and I figured I'd invite him to the party - maybe he needed another group setting before he really asked me out? I invited him and he responded immediately saying he would go. I was excited, the night was going to be good, I was going to be happy.
My birthday rolled around - as an aside, I have never felt more loved than I did on this birthday! I received so many gifts, surprises, cards, it was truly beautiful and I was really honored to have such an amazing support group around me. The party began and it was great - lots of people showed up, I got ridiculously drunk as per usual, but one small tiny thing - T did not show up. That is, until really really late. When he did show up, I was shocked. Happily shocked. He said hi, then went to get a drink and then camped out in a corner - I went up to him and we talked, flirted, people came up to us and joined us. He made funny jokes, he immediately asked me out, we made plans, it was adorable. I was giddy again. People began to leave the party, but he was still there along with a few others - Pat, Greg, T and I ended up at a diner together at the end of the night, sort of a weird drunken double date. It was fun. We were holding hands under the table, I might have knocked over an entire glass of water (classy), we all had a great time. The night ended well, with a quick kiss and a setting of plans.
For the sake of brevity, the first date was great - seven hours or something long, awkward and nervewracking but cute and fun at the same time. We had another brief meet up later that week, which left me feeling somewhat unsure but I was tired from work. A third date, another long doozy - he showed me around the Met, where he worked, which was truly one of the more romantic couple of hours I've ever had. Things weren't perfect between us, by far, but we seemed to get on well and I was definitely falling very very hard. I couldn't wait to actually kiss him, to take things to the next level.
But then things started to sour - he got sick, he went on a long weekend trip, our texting was stilted, I didn't really know how to read him. We met up a couple more times, each time grabbing food or drink and seeing a movie and ending the night with a peck and maybe plans for the next time around. I am grateful to say that all of these times blend into each other in my head right now, and thank goodness because at points it really felt like I'd never be able to get over this.
Yadda yah, the point is things soured and it was painful and there was no real closure or conclusion just a lot of confusion and mixed feelings.
In the midst of all this, I made a big decision - when I was done with the job, I was going to move to LA.
So, here I am! I live in LA now. I live in beautiful brightly lit two bedroom, huge kitchen, living room and dining room sublet with a mini backyard in a suburban-ish neighborhood with one of the biggest parks in LA less than a mile away and a little village with all sorts of things, including a great yoga studio and a vegan pizza place (!!) less than a mile away as well. I can walk to Trader Joe's, there's great street parking. I drove the green car across the country with my friend I met on the job (see, good things...) - my old high school ride.
Things aren't perfect, not by far - but I feel really good in general. Sometimes I get a little bit bummed to not have my best friends within arms reach. Its especially hard to know that Mel is done with her tour today actually - and she will be carving out a life for herself in NY as I am doing the same for myself here.
But I've been chugging along at the job hunt - touching base with any contacts I have, each week having a couple of meetings or interviews. I feel like something is going to come through soon enough, I have about 2 months left to make it happen.
What happens at the end of those 2 months you ask? Well, I run out of money if I don't have a job. Really, I do. So - its a three month trial.
I had a little bit of a brief period of bummed-dom last week, but I thought about it and I realized that I really need to experience LA as much as I possibly can in these couple of months, because I may not ever get the chance to live her again if things don't work out. So, I signed up for an UCLA extension class, I'm hoping to sign up for some improv classes soon and like I said, I'm working my connections as best as I can. I've been hiking a little bit, doing a lot of yoga (getting back into it!) and enjoying the weather as best I can.
I have a lot of personal goals for myself, and I also have a lot of professional goals. I feel like this move is allowing them to fall into place, because it took me out of the world of NYC where I was feeling stuck.
I'm no longer stuck, I don't have anything holding me back, I'm in the entertainment capital of the world, and I intend to enjoy it.
So, here we go.
